“Book group” isn’t a gender-specific phrase, but it’s close.

Whether you go by pop culture references or sales, “book group” means women, from Oprah’s Book Club to the thousands of groups that gather at bookstores, libraries, and online, turning books into bestsellers.

But when it comes to men, there’s a perception, at least, that they would rather sit around reading box scores than discussing books.

This once made Gerry Duffy a jealous, lonely man.

“My wife was in three different book groups at the time, reading all this great stuff,” said Duffy, a technical writer who lives in Portsmouth. “I thought, why should she have all the fun?”

A standard answer comes from Keith Weaver, Duffy’s longtime friend.  “Men unabashed about being men are rare enough. Men who also read books for pleasure are rarer still,” said Weaver, an engineer from Toronto.

Duffy and Weaver have long enjoyed reading, and Duffy suspected that a good read would bring men together. He was right. He put the word out in 2003 and 10 men — an eclectic mix of writers, engineers, and teachers — came to the first meeting.

This was the start of the Lads. Duffy finally had a group of his own, one that has been going strong ever since.

The Lads meet monthly at members’ homes, with Weaver participating via e-mail.
They come armed with notes, dog-eared pages, parts to read aloud, and sharpened wits. Hosts serve refreshments, from a pot of venison sausage to an open bag of chips.

“We keep the bar low,” Duffy said. “So long as there’s good beer, that’s fine.”
They read fiction by obscure authors and Nobel laureates and the occasional memoir, such as Carlos Eire’s “Waiting for Snow in Havana.”

“We pick books according to our individual whims, but need to defend that choice in front of the group before we agree upon it,” said Charlie Gaudet, a cosmetic surgeon from Portsmouth. Keeping Jack Kerouac’s “On the Road” off the list is a contentious, ongoing struggle.

Book discussions “tend not to be academic, but rather free-ranging and always seeking personal connection,” Duffy said.

A recent favorite was J.M. Coetzee’s “Disgrace.” The novel is set in South Africa and examines racial tensions through the eyes of David Laurie, an aging professor who is booted out of the university after an affair with a student.

“He’s a jerk, but you find yourself pulling for him even though you’re supposed to be sensitive and politically correct,” said Paul Hansen, an automotive engineer. “We talked about this small book nonstop for two hours, why we loved it and some of our wives hated it.”

Not every member hangs in. One bolted after the group decided to read “Middlesex,” the Pulitzer Prize winner by Jeffrey Eugenides

“He was conservative and didn’t like the idea of reading a book about a hermaphrodite,” Duffy said. “I was sorry to see him go but I loved the book.”

Duffy also loved the group’s discussion of it.

“Some members were deeply moved by the story, and one Lad said the book had even changed his thinking about people whose sexuality is not so clear-cut,” Duffy said. “I wished the author could have been there to see what difference a good story can make in the world.”

Selected books are snapped up and read in a hurry.

“We’re famous for appearing at RiverRun Book Store [in Portsmouth] even before I’ve called to order the new books,” said Duffy. “There’s a degree of enthusiasm and dedication that’s delightful.”

Most of the Lads relish the heightened purpose necessitated by group interaction. Meetings mean deadlines, and require close reading and critiques — things they normally wouldn’t do.

One reason for the Lads’ success, they say, is maturity — nearly all the men are in their fifties. “At my age, it’s less competitive to be with men,” said Hansen. “We have so much in common now that we feel a closeness we maybe didn’t allow ourselves to have when we were in our 30s.”

Gaudet joined for the people. “I found them to be a group of men with both talent and curiosity,” Gaudet said.

For the Lads, interaction is as important as the book.

“While we do talk a lot about books, we also laugh and drink beer,” said Hansen.

“And we listen warmly to each other, as we did when we let a member talk at length about a memorial service he attended for a co-worker who died suddenly.”

“I love that we can say the things we think and still take care of each other,” Duffy said.

“The Lads is one of the best things happening in my life right now,” said Doug Green. “I always come away from the group having significantly broadened my understanding of the book.”

Duffy immortalizes each year’s reading assignments by writing an epic of rhymed couplets, such as “We then read Salman Rushdie’s ‘Fury’/A book with only some allure, we/Read the next with much accord/’The Sportswriter’ by Richard Ford.”

“I consider the exercise a success when I hear them groaning,” said Duffy.

Among the Lads, such groans are goals, not setbacks.

“Reading can be such a solitary and fleeting activity,” said Tony Lee, a teacher from Kittery Point, Maine. “But now as I enjoy a book, I think, ‘Wow, I’d love to share that paragraph with the Lads.’ I fold over the corner of the page and hope that, even if nobody agrees with me, I will at least get a rise out of somebody.”

At its core, however, the Lads are all about the books.

“I’ve never read with such intention since joining the Lads,” said Hansen. “I haven’t missed a meeting in 18 months.”

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